Sung to the Tune of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"

Ladies and Gents what a "memorable" get-together.  Looking forward to the next one......... hmmmmmmmmm

Roxy lost her money at the saloon,
Playing Texas Hold'em with the boys.

Slinky & Ginger really tried to help her,
But Shotsy made it worsen with more cheer

Cougar, Lucky Texas saw it coming
Fun Size said she really didn't care.

Cougar in the corner with a Fun Guy
& Roxy now has lost her underwear.

Zora & Lolita to the resucue
Ziggy, Zappy followed in the rear.

Santa said he couldn't help 'ole Cotsy
Have another shot and slam a beer!

Ho Ho HO!

This Day

I ask myself what did I do with "this Day"?
Did I make a difference?  Did I help another? Did I nourish a soul?  Did I nourish myself?
What did I do with "this Day"?

Life's unexpected twists and turns this past year and half have basically thrown me into a mode of "questioning". Questioning day-to-day actions, questioning the journey.  Oh, how it is so human to question, when in reality it is not for us to question or to understand, for it is truly in God's hands, and in His hands we must trust.

This evening I sit listening to the pitter patter of the rain.  Listening to the flute playing in the background, and listening to the click-clack-click of the keyboard keys.  Feeling a need to, a call to action, but what is that action? 

I will sit in silence this eve and wait in wonder and anticipation to hear, and to perhaps have a clearer feeling as to what that action my be.

Perhaps rather than ask myself "What did I do this day?", perhaps I should wait in anticipation for the directions of what to do next, not to question, but to listen whole-heartily, and then act.

Blessings to you my family and friends.

Silent Crys

Can you hear me, I'm at your door
Can you hear me, I'm hungry, can you spare a bit more

Thrown in to this world, cause man didn't care
Got them a new house and they left me here

Why would they do this, I thought they cared
A new house a new place why not include me

Alone in the cold, alone in the dark,
Next thing I knew I had babies, what a start
The joy of them warms me, there's horror as well
how can I feed them, it's dark and it's cold,
..... there's no one who cares

So now I scratch and I scrap to barely get by
some of my babies are weak, and some they will die

I reach out to people, most shoo me away
some try to feed me, but get tired, I'm a stray

Then one night some food came out like a dream
some of my babies were fed and were freed

Freed from the street, from the scraping and pain
I hope that they find love, a home, perhaps one for me

The cage with the food it scares me and them
Deep inside I know it's that or we'll all end up dead

Dead from starvation or caught in some snare
A snare of the world comes quickly


If you can read this I want you to know
I don't understand why you left me alone

The love that I gave you, unconditional and more
I guess that a new place was something much more

I don't understand, and I forgive you I guess
but my body grows weary from hunger and unrest

May your new house keep you, and not do to you,
Cause if it doesn't work out it might toss you out too


Written on behalf of all the abandoned animals that are so shamelessly left behind.

I can feel you

Silent fears, shared fears
Dreams, Hopes, Stories and more
Joy, hope, pain, anguish
Laughter, whispers, anger, even hate
Baby cries, tears of joy, triumph, welcome here
Last breathe, tears of sorrow, mourning, heaven home
News hard to bear
News to bring joy
All this whirls through my being and my soul
and more.....

I can feel you as I walk
Walk through my day
I pray, although we may not speak, I don't know you

Know that I can hear you, almost feel you
Oh please have Faith
For I pray for you, and He knows your name

Blessings to you my Family and Friends.

Untitled

Time to get started
Time to let go
Time to say goodbye, and time to say hello
Time to step out of the old, and into the new
Time to become the person deep inside of you

la-la-la.... okay, that just popped into my head.  But as a writer sometimes you don't pick what you want to write, you just write what comes at you.

Gotta run, have a VIP event to attend this day!

Wonder

Wonder.... always wondering.... no more

Now I wonder why I just don't do the things I want to do
Why wait for someone to step up, if they were going to, they would have
Maybe I just haven't met you yet, maybe I have, but why wonder
Why wait for a person to say I do, when I can enjoy it, see it, feel it now
Why wonder, why wait?

The venture begins...... ready, set, GO!

Silence

The silence is almost eerie
The silence can be peace
The silence can be momentary calm
Before the storm
The silence can be electric
The silence really isn't that silent at all
Listen, listen in the quiet, you'll hear
Hear what the silence has to bring

Middle of it all

A silent night broken by gunfire
Brief interruption to the once serene
Freeze frame, don't move
As quickly as interrupted
Quiet overtakes again.... a still silence

A day rocked by police presence
Going for a ride to the P.D.
Wasn't their first choice
But a choice filled with consequences
Slowly driven away, what fate now

In the middle of the wheels
The deals
The side streets
Alleys ways and more
Something in the middle makes wave

Laughter, Love, Family, Friends
A single leaf caught in the Spin Cycle
Being tossed every now and then

The middle momentarily
Breaks through the poison
Fills the streets
The walkways
The alleyways and more

A glimmer of hope
Somehow shines in the middle of it all

Untitled

Sitting
Listening to the click/clack of the keyboard
Wall A/C next to me
Messing up my hair
Keeping me cool

Silent thoughts
Alone
Contemplating
Seeking Gods guidance
Hard to hear
Point out my direction
Move my feet
.....

Little house
Huge and empty
Is this it
A destiny

Capture the quiet
Let it bring peace
You will hear

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels as if I am standing still.
No forward progress, what am I afraid of
Why am I still here, in this space in time

Sometimes it feels as if I am all alone.
Surrounded by family and friends.

Sometimes I want to just cry.
For no reason, but to cry, for longings I have
Though they never seem to be

Sometimes I want to laugh
At the craziness of it all
Life, one can muse it really can
be a circus at times

Sometimes I want to fly
Soar, higher and higher,
Fly in the wind, feel the wind carry me

Sometimes I want to be held,
To not feel alone, to not close my eyes
at night and wonder how it feels to
be 80 and alone, alone in the dark of ones house

Sometimes I want to hear someone
say "I love you, with all my heart"
"You are the world to me" "I want to
spend my life with you" and mean it,
then to do it

Sometimes I want nothing more than
silence, quiet time away, peace, calm, softness

Sometimes I want to be wild
Let it all go, have fun, let my ambitions fly

And sometimes I just wonder, why I
sometimes want...

Cuz the fact of the matter is I am
where the good Lord wants me to be....
and he hears and knows my "sometimes want"

Abrasive flow

Snap of static electricity
Filling the streets
Energy abuzz, movement, unrest

Red ants marching to an unheard tune
scattering forces, unforeseen doom

Tires screeching, licks pavement, abrasive flow
Leave my mark, that's how it goes

Silent peace sits near, not for
Begging mercy, sobs at the scars

Turn it off, and one can see,
such movement doesn't really
have to be
====================================
It's been a long time since I've blogged, but this one just came to me. I suppose it is in light of many headlines that are in our local area news, however, when I first began feeling/writing it, it was more toward my part of the hood. I find it interesting how things come to me, I am beginning to not question them and just go with the flow. I really need to write more.

Da Hood

Da hood is the place that I call home
Da hood is the place where one can feel so alone
Da hood is the place where you see things that are sad
things that are scary and others down right bad

Da hood can creep up on you and take you by surprise
Da hood has no respect, better watch out or it might be
your demise

Ya try to blend in with the crazy ole ways,
perhaps ya wont' be noticed and they'll merry on their way

Da hood takes what it wants, if you got what it needs
Da hood hurts anyone, self respect.... oh pleeeease

Try do what's right, while keeping your kin safe,
An education of the other side, da hood has lessons you
can take

Learn to keep your eyes open
Learn when to uproar, learn when to be silent
and sadly to ignore....
And most of all you learn what's wrong,
A sad state of affairs.... cuz doing something right
.... Da hood seems lost forever more....

Through my soul this day

Sitting alone with my thoughts
Thoughts of Mom
Tears flow freely
Forming Sobs.... I miss you

I am overtaken by a strong scent of Lilies
Can it be? I close my eyes and grasp my hands tightly
The scent is overpowering around me, it envelops me

Is that you? I wish I could see, I wish I could hold
Through tears of sorrow turned to joy I know
you came through my heart and soul this morning
with the Glory of God this beautiful Easter Morn.

For He has risen and you are by his side in Heaven
One day we will meet again. I Love you.

Hold on

It's amazing how we, as humans, feel the need to "hold on" to everything.

I write this as a general statement, not an all encompassing one.

In the past I have held on to many things that weren't necessary.... some material things, some not. Just in case you know.... just in case.

Does holding on to things hold us back?
Does holding on to things keep us from moving forward?
Does holding on to things make us better?
Does holding on to things keep us from growing?
Does holding on to things keep us from the paths that call to us?

Many questions whirl through my mind. Perhaps the best question to ask one self .... "Is holding on necessary?" "what's the benefit" "and for whom"?

Perhaps the better question to ask oneself is "are you ready to let go? Are you ready to let go and allow yourself to fly"

B I C Y C L E, B I C Y C L E, ....

I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike, ..... Queen. Can you hear the tune?

Well, I haven't, I must confess, rode a bike in ... well quite a long time. It's been at least 4 years or greater! So finally, after the poor things have collected dust, tires gone flat, fixed, gone flat again, and a bit of rust here and there, we decided to get them properly cleaned, tuned, and given a once good over.

Today we pick up the bikes, purchase 2 helmets (which by the way are waaaaay better than any helmet I've ever owned... guess you get that when you go to a bike shop)... anyhow, we ride the bikes home (about 1.5 - to 2.0 miles). Oh boy... talk about out of shape. My legs were actually talking to me. Seriously! This scares the heck out of me. Barely 2 miles and I feel it? And to think I am going to try kick-boxing next week? Hmmmmmmm perhaps I need to rethink that. Perhaps I might not be able to move after all of this.

What it does tell me is that I've been too sedentary for too long. Life is busy, yes. Work is busy, yes. There is always an endless amount of chores to do, yes. However, as my beautiful niece shared with me the other night.... "you know, you just have to schedule exercise in to your day". Brilliant! Really Brilliant! Now the trick is to "KEEP" that "APPOINTMENT of exercise".

I vow to try. Tomorrow a hike trip is planned, and I'm certain that will be enjoyable. Perhaps even later today another small bike trip (don't want to overdo it all at once).

The weather is great, it calls to us outdoorsy type of folk. I guess the weeds can still be pulled, it's just I'll be sure to leave 20-30 minutes for good 'ole outdoor exercise... and in time, it won't feel like exercise at all but it will rather be quite fun!

Serpent

Thank you to the wonderful folks in Hospice who shared and created this silently, but separately line by line. Our 6 weeks together were a Blessing.

Serpent in the sky
Flying high soaring through the clouds
with no set destination
my day just passes by
I have wonderful dreams in my head
Memories calm me when I'm feeling blue
Is that you, Serpent in the sky?
Where are you going?
Are you going to land and be with me
That would be wonderful
Can you hear me call your name?
I wait for you, Serpent in the sky.

Blessings abundant to you my Family and Friends.

Barney (aka Patty)

When?

Just wondering when on many things. Trusting God in his plan that all will be as it is best to be. Waiting, wondering, waiting, and traveling back in time through my heart.

You Got me Under Pressure...

Can you hear it.... the tune of ZZ Top and the lyrics.... "You Got Me Under Pressure"....

I'm not thinking music though, or even Rock 'n Roll, I'm thinking about "pressure". What happens when one is under pressure. Is this good? Is this bad?


"Mom, just remember that Diamonds are made under pressure".... said out of the mouth of a child. An interesting and profound thing for a child to say. I must say that I like it! A statement that is bold and wise beyond her years.

So... what do you do when under pressure? Do you crumble, do you jump ship, do you give up? OR do you shine.... like a diamond. I say wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all just shine. If we look deep enough and are still enough we will see that we really do shine.

Dare to Live, Dare to Love, and always Shine.

Blessings to you my family and friends.

Long time no write...

It's been a long time since I've written. Mostly by choice, and secondly... let's be honest here... I simply have not had the energy or anything that I've felt I wanted to blog about. So why am I writing today? I don't know.

Today is a day of reflection and rest for me. To put it bluntly I scheduled this day off a long time ago and I'm glad I did - I really need the down time, the time to be alone, a time to reflect.

It's been a good day thus far. Visited Dad, lunch with sister, the errand I needed to run can't happen because it's a City Furlough Day (oh well...not meant to be)... and now I am alone, here in front of the computer typing. Listening to the thrum of the CPU and the clicking of the keys. Cars drive by outside.... where is everyone headed to?

I have photos of Mom I'm going through. At times I smile really big, and sometimes I feel a tear coming on. Mostly I feel like it's still not real... as if my Mother is just on a really really long trip or something and she'll be back. She will be back. I know, however she will not.

She is enjoying eternal life with our Lord Jesus Christ. What a glorious place to be. To want her back would be selfish.... now I wait. I wait for the day all of the family will be reunited again. That makes me smile.

With that I am going to end this rather aimless blog, and just enjoy being quiet and still with absolutely nothing to do but think, perhaps meditate and give thanks for the Blessings in my life.

Until I write again.... be Blessed.

Barney (aka Patty)

Writer's Block

W R I T E R S B L O C K - - - To write creatively one must write daily, at least 20 minutes... a day... every day. 20 minutes isn't that much time, however... and I say this with some seriousness (is that word?) to be able to write 20 minutes every day can sometimes be challenging. It is especially challenging when writer's block sets in.

I am faced with that today, right at this moment. I have a number of thoughts whirling about my mind (some would call that ADD) however, I call it creativity.... the real trick is to capture one thought then expand or write one's feelings/thoughts/about it. Sounds simple? Not really.

Some thoughts whirling around in my mind... God, children, family, swimming, work, exercise, beauty, love, loneliness, death, life, the lost, the forgotten, friends, birds, money,.... and these are just a few of the things whirling around. Talk about overload! Wouldn't you say?

Which brings me to something I use to practice, but have not in a very long time. Meditation. Meditation quiets the mind, focuses the body, mind and soul. It takes practice, daily practice, just like writing. Begin small - 20 minutes a day and soon you expand to 30, 40, even 60 minutes a day.

So perhaps this writers block has brought me back to meditation, and how beneficial it can be. Actually an interesting and round about way to come to that, buy hey, I got there.

I expect as my meditation practice grows so will my writing. Just like a ripple in the water, small at first and larger as it expands. Now that certainly is a good start. Yes indeed, I'd say it's a good start.

To my fellow writers, family and friends, I wish you many blessings this day and every day.

Barney (aka Patty)

It's all in the "hat"

It's all in the "hat". Seriously, didn't you know that? A hat can change the look of an outfit, add an air of old time charm, mystery, or elegance (to name a few).

There are any number of hats. Fedora hats.... a classic. A time of elegance and grace. Cowboy hats... oh the old wild west, the new frontier, Eureka... there's GOLD in them there hills. The Gangsta hat.... tilted slightly disguising the wearer just a bit. There are so many hats.... Top hats, wide brimmed hats, floppy hats, pillbox hats, large, small, and then there are the Derby hats. Don't get me started on that.

Hats can be an expression of one's self. A hat can simply be worn to protect ones self from the damaging rays of the sun, and sometimes a Hat can be a gentle reminder of what truly is important in life. Case in Point....... read on

A particularly busy day at work I happened upon an elderly man. He had a gentle demeanor about him... very tall, I'd have to imagine in his younger days quite an ominous presence, now bent over slightly. However his presence was gentle and kind. As I assisted him I could not help but notice his "hat". He was sporting a baseball hat... and his hat said it all.... in big bold letters across his hat it read TRY GOD.

At that moment I smiled, time to stop, time to refocus on what really matters. Now what that is may be different for you than it is for me.... however, when you find yourself feeling hurried, anxious or even stressed.... think of the many expressions a hat can portray... and think of the hat that said it all... TRY GOD. I say "Indeed Try God!"

Blessings to you my family and friends.

Barney (aka Patty)

To Forgive

To forgive, easy to say, but is it easy to do? Sometimes not, sometimes yes.

This day I try to forgive whomever burglarize our home. What an invasive feeling. The anger welled up inside of me, how can someone so callously break into a persons' home, and take what they feel? Things taken, although stuff, it is stuff that I have worked very hard for... some will take years to be replaced. It makes me sad, and it makes me angry. To work so hard, and have someone just come and take what is not theirs. I pray.

I try to pray for whomever did this, that they find it in themselves to "stop" what is wrong, to turn to God so that God can redeem them, guide them.... perhaps they can fix the wrong they have done. I pray, every day, it is hard. It is hard knowing someone came into my home, broke in, went through our things, .... the house feels wrong at times.

I pray, so I can forgive, let it go, not to forget, but not to hold on to the anger, the fear, even the sadness. Pray for those that wrong you, pray for those that hurt you, pray for healing, pray that you can forgive.

I turn to God and ask him to help me do just that.

Blessings to you my family and friends.

Barney (aka Patty)

Mother Nature

We've certainly experienced some dynamic beautiful weather this past week. The wind, rain, and even snow has changed the artistry of mother nature's canvas. This morning the sun has appeared and shines gloriously onto the earth. Warming things up, breathing warmth into our souls. Shining, like a spotlight on the ever changing scenery around us. Stop, look, soak it in.

This day I'm going to slow down, take a walk in nature, listen to her music, it's really all around. Going to escape the city sounds, and get close to nature, to God. I have found that when I calm myself, empty my mind of 'to do' lists, and the feeling of having to fill all my time with 'something' is when I experience the most joy.

Today, I am going to 'simply just be'. Try it sometime, I truly don't feel one would be disappointed. Perhaps one may even find themself a bit enlightened.

Blessings to you may family and friends this day.

Barney (aka Patty)

10 minute challenge

Just how long is 10 minutes? Perhaps the time it takes to blow-dry ones hair, or the time to take a shower, make a quick breakfast. 10 minutes can fit in alot when you think about it. 10 minute break at work to get a cup of coffee/water perhaps? 10 minutes to drop the kids off at school? When you think about it one can do quit a bit in 10 minutes. Which brings me to this question.

What 10 minute activity do you do daily for yourself? I'm talking about something that moves the body. Walk? Run? Weights? Sit ups? Perhaps you're one of the millions that say I just don't have time. I know I'm amongst that group. HOWEVER, this weeks challenge is to fit in 10 minutes of walking daily.

How? Walk 5 minutes one direction, and 5 minutes back. There you have it your 10 minute workout. Weathers bad? March in place at home for 10 minutes. March in place as you make dinner. Lift weights, there's Pilate's, Yoga, Dancing, Walking... and we're talking 10 minutes only.

Think of all the 10 minute activities you do daily and then erase that thought of "I just don't have time".... quite frankly we all have time. We can start today with 10 minutes. I challenge myself and I challenge my family and friends to make time for "you". I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Blessings to you my family and friends this day.

One step at a time....

Finally, finally finally! I did it! I hit my first 5-lb loss, after the past year of ups and downs, I did it. Yes, I did say past year. This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions for me, a whirlwind of sorrow and heart-aches. The kind of heart-aches that knocks you to your knees and literally sucks the very breath out of you.... as if your body has collapsed inward.

Oh joy though.... tonight I did it. I almost jumped for joy, and when given my first 5-lb marker it was all I could do not to cry as my mind quickly rewound the past year. Thankfully, with the love and support of my sweetie and my younger sister I've been able to keep to an even keel and not give in to "the beast". The "beast" of emotional eating for comfort. Perseverance, love, and gentle forgiveness has kept me going and got me this far. 5-lbs, a small goal, seems like the weight of the world has been lifted off.

Thank you Sweetie and thank you "M" for believing in me and keeping me focused on what is important and that it can be done... you only have to believe in yourself.

Great big hugs to all who continue to support me. Wow! I really did it! Now I can only step forward to healthier and happier times.... with less of me that I will over time, leave behind.

Track!

Track... first thing that comes to mind is the sport of Track and Field.

In Track and Field you certainly have movement, some very precise; take the hurdles or pole vault. You would not want to be "off track" in those events or you could go splat! That would not be fun, although I'm sure when one first started there were moments where things weren't on track.... however.... you learned from it and moved on. The movement and energy of Track and Field is near and dear to my heart.

Now I'm faced with another form of Track. Tracking my health, tracking my food intake, tracking my energy output, and working on finding the combination that will ultimately bring me to a healthier, happier lifestyle. Sound exciting? Well yes! To me it is exciting, however I'm not as intimately familiar with this from of "track" as I am with "track and field". I'm learning though, and learning is the key word here.

I received this quote today and it fits so perfectly with my thoughts on this blog today...

"It's not how often you get off track that impacts your life. It's how fast you notice you are off track and what you learn that determines where you end up". Marshall Sylver

That quote in and of itself sums it all up for me. It's how fast you notice you are off track and what you learn.

This day I woke knowing I'd do something for myself and my family. Something that enlightens us and gets us moving. For me that is taking a nice hike amongst our foothills. The views are spectacular, the scenery keeps one engaged to where one hardly notices the distance one's traveled. Spectacular views tied in with movement (exercise). An inviting combination for this writer.

As I venture the hills today I know my mind and body will be energized with new ideas for my next blog. Nature has a way of bringing out the creative side in me; I'd call that a plus.

To my readers this day - ENJOY your day. Find what makes you happy, live what makes you happy, smile more, move more, love more.

Blessings to you my family and friends this day.

Barney (aka Patty)

It's Friday - Yes!

There's something about Friday that sets the mind in an "ahhhhhhh" place.

Ahhh to the satisfaction of week past, and a welcoming ahhhh to the weekend. A time for self, a time for family, and fun. You can sleep in, sleep out, or not sleep at all - it just is because it's Friday. Whatever you chose, because it's Friday.

Fridays often times are an enjoyable evening out, as I did tonight. Enjoyed a nice cold beer in an even colder and icy mug. The taste was smooth and went perfectly with a sizzling plate of fajitas. The company was even better, filled with wonderful conversation about the day and life.

A nice way to wrap up a work-week. I sit her now and ponder about tomorrow, will I sleep in, sleep out, or simply stay up all night and move right into the next. Hmmmmmm you never know. What I do know is that it's time for this writer to sign off as there's much too much Friday left to be clicking the keyboard.

Ahhhhh..... yes, it's Friday!

Time

Isn't it mostly true that we "take time" for the things that are important. My challenge and question to you and myself is.... "Aren't YOU important?".

Take time for "you" TODAY!

Blessings to you my family and friends.

A New Journey

Have you ever set out on a journey? I have, and there's been many different journeys. Some journeys are very well planned out - like a vacation. You have an itinerary, know the costs, know whom you're going with, when you're going, when you're coming back - nicely laid out plans. Ahh......... and you're set... off you go to have fun.

Why is it, I ask, that some journeys are more difficult than planning a vacation? I've been on a weight loss journey for the past 6 months. A literal roller coaster.... started out great, had a plan, was losing the pounds, and then wham!! An emotional setback hit in March that set me into a tailspin of emotional eating... at times I still struggle. Yeah, you see I'm like a million other folks that are emotional eaters... emotions set folks like us into non-stop, non-conscious eating. And dare I say, not the best or healthiest of choices.

We eat when we're angry, sad, bored, and the reality of it is our emotions turn to food for comfort! Not a good or healthy combination, but hey, I know it's there and believe you me I'm working on "taming that beast". One can "choose", and believe it or not "have power" over food. What a concept, huh?

Let's change the mind frame - Food becomes fuel, becomes energy... vs. comfort. Food no longer is comfort for angry feelings, sad feelings, boredom, or even loneliness. Food simply is food.. a fuel to nourish and power the body. As I type this I am convincing and re-programming my mind to believe... the goal here (the journey) is a shift of mindset to healthy eating that becomes second nature; A permanent way of life. My journey and goal is to say goodbye to "the beast" of emotional eating. I do have a "choice" and "power" over it.

Join me as I start my weight loss journey. An adventure into self discovery really. I suspect that not only will I change to healthy eating habits but I might just find I do a bit of housecleaning in all aspects of my life.

Now, how to get this all planned out carefully.... I suspect I will take the approach of a well planned vacation. It takes planning, a desire to get to your destination, and more important to have fun!

So...... here we go..... the journey has begun.