Don't Ever Settle

Thank you Shelly and Tom for the inspirational title for today's blog..."Don't Ever Settle".

Let me ask you this. If you were hired for a job to perform certain tasks, and then when you come on board, you are told you are doing something else.... something else you'd never have applied for.......would you "settle" for this and just go for the ride? Perhaps yes, perhaps no, perhaps for a while until you realized it just wasn't what you wanted and you were settling because it was a job.

Well what about relationships? Friends, co-workers, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends. How does that work. I heard something last night on the television that was like a zoom in of a scary movie, and it fits right in with this post. She said...... "If a relationship doesn't move forward, it withers".

Ah... this really fits in to "Don't Ever Settle". Wow! So I thought I've got to get this out there. I also sat back and started to reflect on my life... have I ever just settled? I'd have to say yes in some cases, and in those cases it never turned out well. Not that it was horrific or horrible, but when one just settles something always seems to be missing.

So I ask you all. How do you know when it's right? That job, that decision, your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend? Tough question, I know. However, I do know that I will definitely be keeping the words "If a relationship doesn't move forward, it withers" deep in my thoughts. Intriguing to me, as I venture through life sometimes yearning for the connection that I see others have easily made. Then again, I trust that God will guide me through this life to be and do what needs to be done for his glory.

JB, remember that day when we sat on the curb while the police were going through the house (after it was burglarized?). I will never forget what I said, the words just came, like I wasn't even the one saying them, I said... "I know now that whatever I do in life I must do it alone". Did those words put my fate out there? I wonder. I ponder. Now I ramble (smiles).

Don't Ever Settle.

Elegant Grace

Elegant Grace. Say it to yourself, feel it, think about the words "Elegant Grace". What comes to mind? A situation that required not only elegance but grace. Or perhaps the image of a movie star or well known person comes to mind when you hear the words "elegant grace". It could trigger any number of things in ones own mind when they hear these words, or even see them, for me however it means something different.

This post "Elegant Grace" has been a difficult one for me. The words are there, the thoughts are there, however pulling those thoughts out and getting them written down have been elusive, quite an understatement (to say the least). I've ping-ponged in my mind this blog; for today the challenge will be (a challenge to myself ) to finally get this particular blog written. Here goes........

(for those who get an automatic notice of my blog - more will be written later)... Okay, so it's later, well not later, but the next day..... waaaay later. I said this was one I'm having putting down on paper. Now mind you this is merely how I see/feel Elegant Grace, and of course Elegant Grace certainly is not a fit-all for everyone.

Continued experiences of the past year have swirled about in my mind and heart (as if by storm, and so pleasantly unexpectedly). Imagine if prior to an experience you overheard on a bullhorn...

"Attention, attention, you (meaning myself) will be interacting with the elderly population of your community (mainly 80+ year olds). This experience will transform you."

Hmmmmmmm "Transform me? How? Is this good? Is this bad? What's going on" (these thoughts run through my mind... to which I hear more....)

"Yes Barney, I'm speaking to you. Listen carefully, listen deeply. You will find something (really what this voice means is blessed) from these interactions that will astound you, amaze you... provide your heart with an appreciation you've never quite felt before". (Huh, what is this voice talking about). Oh it goes on......."An appreciation of self, of family, of life and this will be provided to you through those who have achieved within themselves an Elegant Grace".

"Hmmmmmmmmm are you really sure you have the right Barney, you really are speaking to me?"

Now mind you this is just something I throw out there - of course I had none of this inner self talk, and didn't even have an idea how profound such interactions would be..... then one day they happened. Elegant Grace found me, found me where I least expected it, and when I least expected it. An affirmation so intense I found solice and just cried..... not from sadness but from (gosh I won't describe this appropriately) a shear overwhelming sense of the feeling of being home, and being where one belongs, and knowing HE (God our Savior) is beside me, guiding me.

So you ask, Elegant Grace? Come on, what does it mean. Well, again, hard to explain. Elegant Grace (as best as I can humanly describe it) is the combination of a persons experience in life (an elderly person) that has manifested to something glorious, something so sincere, honest, breathtaking, open, appreciative, and loving far beyond what any words could describe (at least by this writer). It's almost as if you can see HIM in and through their eyes, feel HIM in their words. Then that connection is made that is so intense the world stops around you. You are ever present.

This experience of Elegant Grace first came to me one day as I sat holding the hand of a woman dieing. So unafraid (she was). Asking of me questions directly to me about dieing, about did 'I know she was dying', about what I thought, about her fears. I have no idea how long I sat with her (it didn't matter). Only that moment mattered.

I remember the day she passed, I remember seeing her, not saying a word to her, our eyes meeting, knowing she was on her way home. It was as if HE spoke to me himself through her eyes and told me so. I felt an overwhelming sense of "joy" for her, she knew, she was okay, and HE was with her. Through that moment our eye meet, we said goodbye. She was a vision of HIS glory, and she smiled a smile I will never forget. Within 5 minutes she was gone. I found solice, I cried....

It was on that day that my journey began, and continues through repeated and numerous interactions. Yes I am beginning to understand the voice over the bullhorn....... "Attention, attention, you will be interacting with the elderly population of your community. This experience will transform you." ..... "You will find something from these interactions that will astound you, amaze you... provide your heart with an appreciation you've never quite felt before".

This my friends is Elegant Grace. This my friends is an experience that only HE can provide, in HIS time, something I find hard calling an experience, but rather a Blessing from above.

If for not one day I implore you to seek the interactions within the day and see beyond the world as we see it, but look deeper .... and I truly believe you too will find Elegant Grace.

The Great Debate

The Great Debate. What was "The Great Debate"? I have no clue, nor do I wish to, however, I do know that I enjoy lively conversation with a variety of folks and different walks of life. Isn't that what makes the world go round? Some would say yes, some would say I don't know, and some happen to think it does. What do you think.

Sunday morning, brisk air, a hot cup of coffee, a local Starbucks and a group of folks from all walks of life. What an enlightening and wonderful way to spend a lazy Sunday morn. Everything from politics, to good looking men, and women, and let's not forget the vineyards, the world travelers, the firemen, policeman, professors, administrators, nurses, psychologists, puzzle pros....... and whew... let me take a breath. Yes there is more! All in one spot? Oh yes, and what a lively and fun conversation it is - I look forward to my Sunday mornings. And can you believe all to be found in one location at one time.

How did this happen you ask? Well, with most things it starts with a hello. A simple word, yet a word that is taken for, I believe, for granted in our society. Hello has become an automatic thing one says when they see or pass a person, and to some, it doesn't exist. However, for this group "hello" really means "hello", and an open invitation for conversation. Harmless in and of itself, but for some it can be intimidating or even threatening.

What has become of the "art of conversation?" Has it been lost in technology? I mean I even know of a couple who text each other when in the same house! Don't laugh - I'm being serious. Whatever happened to the value of face-to-face conversation - where one can see expression, feel the tone, feel the body language and really get to know a person. An example, and it's funny because I am blogging this so you can't feel, read or see tone... But let's take the word HELLO for example. I can say the word hello in so many ways it can be friendly, it can be provocative, and it can be condescending or rude, and there is much more. So how do I ask, does one really engage in the true art of conversation through our various means of media. I believe there is value, but the value I'm talking about is the really getting to know, to feel a person, and be present and engaged. A thought to ponder.

For me, I value my Sunday mornings - I find them refreshing and fun and sometimes even exhilarating! Perhaps the world can start with a hello, and invite someone that is different from ourselves into our space if even for just a moment. One might be able to see that there really is value in the "art of conversation"

Lazy Days and Yesterdays

Ah......... it's that time of year when the seasons are indecisive. Not quite Fall, but not summer "heat hot" anymore either. To me it's the perfect time of year, the time of year where I feel "lazy days" more often then not, and a time of year when I find myself pondering "yesterdays". Why is that?

Well, I don't know the answer to that. I often tell myself that "yesterdays" are gone, and "today" is the present! So live in it! However, and I say however cautiously, our yesterdays have sometimes left imprints of lost loves, lost opportunities, and sometimes just unanswered questions. THIS is WHERE I find myself pondering, thinking, analyzing........ oh how I analyze (okay, OVER-analyze some things)... is that bad? good? or indifferent? Another question I put out there. It's almost like a good book you were reading and had a chapter or two left, and you never finished...... hmmmmmmmm. Unfinished business perhaps, I don't know.

So here's how all this came to me today, as I sat with the group of ladies and gents that I sit with each Saturday morning. In life you will remember and smile from the things you did in life vs. the things you thought you should have done (something like that). So, hmmmm, an interesting concept for me. I tend to like things wrapped up, a start, a middle, a finish......... so that just throws a complete curve ball into my project management style approach to life. But, but, but, but.... it wasn't part of the plan! How can you take that chapter or book away (sometimes not by my choice), when it's not finished. I ponder this.

So for today, I will smile at, and remember the things I've done/seen/been in life. I can't promise that I won't ever ponder over lost loves, lost opportunities, and yes... sometimes just unanswered questions. I will though, try to look at them objectively and not OVER-analyze them. Take them as a learning experience. Perhaps some of those chapters will be picked up later in life, perhaps some of those unread books will be complete. The lesson here is to live, today, now, and if the unread books come back full circle, then another chapter begins.