Up until now, I believed that childbirth was the most painful experience. I was wrong. In fact I was so wrong, I wasn't even close. Childbirth pain - a piece of cake. The pain of losing one's Mom is far more excruciating than anything I've ever experienced. Being turned inside out. Having one's insides liquefied. That is what this feels like.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I came across this "draft" post - which I didn't post. Shall I? I think I will. Since Mom died March 13, and since we buried Mom March 20, I've felt out of body. Here, but "spaced out" in a way. Good? Bad? Indifferent? I don't know. We all grieve differently. I am allowing myself to grieve, allowing myself to "be kind" to myself, and also allowing myself to "celebrate" the goodness of Mom. The "Joy" of Mom, and the "unconditional love" of Mom. That has been working and getting me through the day. To be strong, for my child, for myself.
On March 16th, I started a blog. The pain is real, it comes and it goes, and that's okay. Mom's overwhelming beautiful, kind and loving traits ease that pain.
Miss you Mom
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