Oh Mom. Yesterday was so difficult, it seemed so very hard. I know that God is carrying us... I know that you are with us, even though you have left us in body. Dad and us kids gathered in your honor and we read liturgy and selected the readings for your funeral mass. Is this real? I was really strong Mom, I could feel you keeping us all together. Your songs you shared with me will be sung, it will be so beautiful. A mass woven together in your honor.
As we read the Liturgical Word yesterday I suddenly found myself feeling empty. Someone was missing. I immediately started to count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...... 7... wait we're missing one. I burst out and lost it. The room, although full with your children and Dad suddenly seemed so very large and empty. I am sorry for losing it Mom, I am sorry for losing it in front of Dad, he is hurting badly, he is so lost. I am trying to be strong for Dad, for my child, you were always so strong Mom, even whenyou were hurting.... The Rock of the Family. Your Faith and Love shaped us all. Thank you.
I sat in your chair, I sat in the backyard and felt the sun on me. I listened to your birdies out back. I know they are wild birds but those birds came to you, even sitting on your hands/arms allowing you to touch them. There were also the few that would venture into the house to you... they knew your spirit and gentleness too. God is good, you know that, we know that. It felt as if you were there. I miss you Mom. We miss you. We love you.
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