Ever wonder?
Do you ever wonder the "whys" to life? Do you ever wonder about the "hows" in life? Do you ever wonder the "whats" to life? Why am I here, how do I live the life my creator planned for me, and what is it I am supposed to be doing?
Although we were given "free will", this writer believes that God ultimately has a plan laid out for us. Sometimes we get side-tracked, off-track, or on the wrong-track; and that is okay, even those times are all part of the "why" for us. Each interaction, each breath, each moment all part of a bigger picture for humanity; for those that we encounter and for ourselves.
How would our lives change if we were to see the blueprint laid out for us? Would we be where we are today? Would things have been different? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. If we were given that glimpse, we might change things and that change would change things for others as well.
I believe at the end of our days we'll see that blueprint and any unanswered questions; our whys, our pains, our grief, will be perfectly laid out for the bigger picture and we'll see the good that came out of each moment. Whether that moment was happy, sad, painful, or something else; we'll finally have the answers to all our unanswered questions, and we'll say "I get it all now" .... and we will smile. That one thought is what keeps this writer plugging along on this journey called life.
~Barney Beagle (aka Patty)
Saturday, July 28, 2018
Monday, December 26, 2011
As we say farewell.....
In just 5 days we will say farewell. You've been good to me, I must say, although there have been some bumps along the way, there has always been a silver lining (gently tucked away). Thank you for opening my heart to always see the silver lining, no matter what the circumstance.
Despite that it will be farewell in just 5 short days. You will become the past, 2011, and I, along with many others, will welcome in 2012. Hard to believe, but true. Where did you go? You came and went so quickly, and now, soon, you will be gone, forever.
2012.... wow! Hard to believe. Waiting silently, soon to make a grand entrance... count down. I know you will be as true and good to me as 2011 was. My much anticipated thought is ... even better. So although I am getting ready to say farewell to a wonderfully good year, I know you, the new, will be even brighter.
Despite that it will be farewell in just 5 short days. You will become the past, 2011, and I, along with many others, will welcome in 2012. Hard to believe, but true. Where did you go? You came and went so quickly, and now, soon, you will be gone, forever.
2012.... wow! Hard to believe. Waiting silently, soon to make a grand entrance... count down. I know you will be as true and good to me as 2011 was. My much anticipated thought is ... even better. So although I am getting ready to say farewell to a wonderfully good year, I know you, the new, will be even brighter.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Breathe
Breathe.... something, perhaps that is taken for granted.
You breathe in, you breathe out, without much thought, if really none at all.
Then one day you have to "think" to breathe. It's frightening really.
Breathe in, breathe out, don't gag, don't choke, please airway stay open...
one more time and I can rest, my lungs can feel right
Sleep..... can be scary. Awoken to the gasping for air because the
lungs don't want to work or are so restricted and tight it's like gasping
for air underwater.... doesn't work too well.
So I sit propped up, wondering will my lungs clear and relax? Will the
act of breathing be that of not much thought? Just something the body does
without struggle?
Be gentle to yourself, listen to your body, it speaks to you, lets you know
when it's stressed or trying to fight an infection......... find time to rest and take care.
This writer, for now, is thankful for modern medicine, nurses and MD's that are
helping me to breathe... my prayer and hope is soon it will be mindless and
not a struggle.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe out.... soon it will all be carefree.
You breathe in, you breathe out, without much thought, if really none at all.
Then one day you have to "think" to breathe. It's frightening really.
Breathe in, breathe out, don't gag, don't choke, please airway stay open...
one more time and I can rest, my lungs can feel right
Sleep..... can be scary. Awoken to the gasping for air because the
lungs don't want to work or are so restricted and tight it's like gasping
for air underwater.... doesn't work too well.
So I sit propped up, wondering will my lungs clear and relax? Will the
act of breathing be that of not much thought? Just something the body does
without struggle?
Be gentle to yourself, listen to your body, it speaks to you, lets you know
when it's stressed or trying to fight an infection......... find time to rest and take care.
This writer, for now, is thankful for modern medicine, nurses and MD's that are
helping me to breathe... my prayer and hope is soon it will be mindless and
not a struggle.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe out.... soon it will all be carefree.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Blessings
Writers block - is a condition, associated with writing, in which the writer loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task in hand.... ... sound familiar writers? Oh... it does to me. This is where I have to remember to "free write". At least 20 minutes a day. That in and of itself always seems to get the creative flow moving (or at least that is the hope)
A pleasant day today - spent the better part of the morning with family and friends over coffee. Fun, jovial kidding around and simply enjoying the company of each other.
The rain fell, sometimes hard at times (skipping rain as we call it). The fog seemed to lift a bit, a teaser that the blue sky might, just might make an appearance between the bursts of rain. For a moment I did see blue sky which gave me a smile. The artistry of mother nature is always constant, sometimes amusing if one pays attention.
A lone hawk graced my path more than once today... a message from the spirit world, lending the wisdom of it's kind.... the hawk spirit graced me with her attributes this day.... quietly I thank and listen for her message, careful not to let the world drown out my ability to receive.
Last night I saw Camel (yes a Camel) and I think of what the Camel spirit represents... Camel is telling you that even though things may seem difficult at the moment, trust that you have the resources to get through this challenging time in your life.
Two interesting totems to cross my path this day.......
As I sit and give thanks for the many blessings in my life, I give thanks to the heavens for guiding me on my spiritual journey of self discovery, joy and peace. I am surrounded by family and friends, a blessing. I am surrounded by supportive and caring people, a blessing. I am truly blessed and give thanks this day.
A pleasant day today - spent the better part of the morning with family and friends over coffee. Fun, jovial kidding around and simply enjoying the company of each other.
The rain fell, sometimes hard at times (skipping rain as we call it). The fog seemed to lift a bit, a teaser that the blue sky might, just might make an appearance between the bursts of rain. For a moment I did see blue sky which gave me a smile. The artistry of mother nature is always constant, sometimes amusing if one pays attention.
A lone hawk graced my path more than once today... a message from the spirit world, lending the wisdom of it's kind.... the hawk spirit graced me with her attributes this day.... quietly I thank and listen for her message, careful not to let the world drown out my ability to receive.
Last night I saw Camel (yes a Camel) and I think of what the Camel spirit represents... Camel is telling you that even though things may seem difficult at the moment, trust that you have the resources to get through this challenging time in your life.
Two interesting totems to cross my path this day.......
As I sit and give thanks for the many blessings in my life, I give thanks to the heavens for guiding me on my spiritual journey of self discovery, joy and peace. I am surrounded by family and friends, a blessing. I am surrounded by supportive and caring people, a blessing. I am truly blessed and give thanks this day.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sung to the Tune of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"
Ladies and Gents what a "memorable" get-together. Looking forward to the next one......... hmmmmmmmmm
Roxy lost her money at the saloon,
Playing Texas Hold'em with the boys.
Slinky & Ginger really tried to help her,
But Shotsy made it worsen with more cheer
Cougar, Lucky Texas saw it coming
Fun Size said she really didn't care.
Cougar in the corner with a Fun Guy
& Roxy now has lost her underwear.
Zora & Lolita to the resucue
Ziggy, Zappy followed in the rear.
Santa said he couldn't help 'ole Cotsy
Have another shot and slam a beer!
Ho Ho HO!
Roxy lost her money at the saloon,
Playing Texas Hold'em with the boys.
Slinky & Ginger really tried to help her,
But Shotsy made it worsen with more cheer
Cougar, Lucky Texas saw it coming
Fun Size said she really didn't care.
Cougar in the corner with a Fun Guy
& Roxy now has lost her underwear.
Zora & Lolita to the resucue
Ziggy, Zappy followed in the rear.
Santa said he couldn't help 'ole Cotsy
Have another shot and slam a beer!
Ho Ho HO!
Friday, November 19, 2010
This Day
I ask myself what did I do with "this Day"?
Did I make a difference? Did I help another? Did I nourish a soul? Did I nourish myself?
What did I do with "this Day"?
Life's unexpected twists and turns this past year and half have basically thrown me into a mode of "questioning". Questioning day-to-day actions, questioning the journey. Oh, how it is so human to question, when in reality it is not for us to question or to understand, for it is truly in God's hands, and in His hands we must trust.
This evening I sit listening to the pitter patter of the rain. Listening to the flute playing in the background, and listening to the click-clack-click of the keyboard keys. Feeling a need to, a call to action, but what is that action?
I will sit in silence this eve and wait in wonder and anticipation to hear, and to perhaps have a clearer feeling as to what that action my be.
Perhaps rather than ask myself "What did I do this day?", perhaps I should wait in anticipation for the directions of what to do next, not to question, but to listen whole-heartily, and then act.
Blessings to you my family and friends.
Did I make a difference? Did I help another? Did I nourish a soul? Did I nourish myself?
What did I do with "this Day"?
Life's unexpected twists and turns this past year and half have basically thrown me into a mode of "questioning". Questioning day-to-day actions, questioning the journey. Oh, how it is so human to question, when in reality it is not for us to question or to understand, for it is truly in God's hands, and in His hands we must trust.
This evening I sit listening to the pitter patter of the rain. Listening to the flute playing in the background, and listening to the click-clack-click of the keyboard keys. Feeling a need to, a call to action, but what is that action?
I will sit in silence this eve and wait in wonder and anticipation to hear, and to perhaps have a clearer feeling as to what that action my be.
Perhaps rather than ask myself "What did I do this day?", perhaps I should wait in anticipation for the directions of what to do next, not to question, but to listen whole-heartily, and then act.
Blessings to you my family and friends.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Silent Crys
Can you hear me, I'm at your door
Can you hear me, I'm hungry, can you spare a bit more
Thrown in to this world, cause man didn't care
Got them a new house and they left me here
Why would they do this, I thought they cared
A new house a new place why not include me
Alone in the cold, alone in the dark,
Next thing I knew I had babies, what a start
The joy of them warms me, there's horror as well
how can I feed them, it's dark and it's cold,
..... there's no one who cares
So now I scratch and I scrap to barely get by
some of my babies are weak, and some they will die
I reach out to people, most shoo me away
some try to feed me, but get tired, I'm a stray
Then one night some food came out like a dream
some of my babies were fed and were freed
Freed from the street, from the scraping and pain
I hope that they find love, a home, perhaps one for me
The cage with the food it scares me and them
Deep inside I know it's that or we'll all end up dead
Dead from starvation or caught in some snare
A snare of the world comes quickly
If you can read this I want you to know
I don't understand why you left me alone
The love that I gave you, unconditional and more
I guess that a new place was something much more
I don't understand, and I forgive you I guess
but my body grows weary from hunger and unrest
May your new house keep you, and not do to you,
Cause if it doesn't work out it might toss you out too
Written on behalf of all the abandoned animals that are so shamelessly left behind.
Can you hear me, I'm hungry, can you spare a bit more
Thrown in to this world, cause man didn't care
Got them a new house and they left me here
Why would they do this, I thought they cared
A new house a new place why not include me
Alone in the cold, alone in the dark,
Next thing I knew I had babies, what a start
The joy of them warms me, there's horror as well
how can I feed them, it's dark and it's cold,
..... there's no one who cares
So now I scratch and I scrap to barely get by
some of my babies are weak, and some they will die
I reach out to people, most shoo me away
some try to feed me, but get tired, I'm a stray
Then one night some food came out like a dream
some of my babies were fed and were freed
Freed from the street, from the scraping and pain
I hope that they find love, a home, perhaps one for me
The cage with the food it scares me and them
Deep inside I know it's that or we'll all end up dead
Dead from starvation or caught in some snare
A snare of the world comes quickly
If you can read this I want you to know
I don't understand why you left me alone
The love that I gave you, unconditional and more
I guess that a new place was something much more
I don't understand, and I forgive you I guess
but my body grows weary from hunger and unrest
May your new house keep you, and not do to you,
Cause if it doesn't work out it might toss you out too
Written on behalf of all the abandoned animals that are so shamelessly left behind.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I can feel you
Silent fears, shared fears
Dreams, Hopes, Stories and more
Joy, hope, pain, anguish
Laughter, whispers, anger, even hate
Baby cries, tears of joy, triumph, welcome here
Last breathe, tears of sorrow, mourning, heaven home
News hard to bear
News to bring joy
All this whirls through my being and my soul
and more.....
I can feel you as I walk
Walk through my day
I pray, although we may not speak, I don't know you
Know that I can hear you, almost feel you
Oh please have Faith
For I pray for you, and He knows your name
Blessings to you my Family and Friends.
Dreams, Hopes, Stories and more
Joy, hope, pain, anguish
Laughter, whispers, anger, even hate
Baby cries, tears of joy, triumph, welcome here
Last breathe, tears of sorrow, mourning, heaven home
News hard to bear
News to bring joy
All this whirls through my being and my soul
and more.....
I can feel you as I walk
Walk through my day
I pray, although we may not speak, I don't know you
Know that I can hear you, almost feel you
Oh please have Faith
For I pray for you, and He knows your name
Blessings to you my Family and Friends.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Untitled
Time to get started
Time to let go
Time to say goodbye, and time to say hello
Time to step out of the old, and into the new
Time to become the person deep inside of you
la-la-la.... okay, that just popped into my head. But as a writer sometimes you don't pick what you want to write, you just write what comes at you.
Gotta run, have a VIP event to attend this day!
Time to let go
Time to say goodbye, and time to say hello
Time to step out of the old, and into the new
Time to become the person deep inside of you
la-la-la.... okay, that just popped into my head. But as a writer sometimes you don't pick what you want to write, you just write what comes at you.
Gotta run, have a VIP event to attend this day!
Wonder
Wonder.... always wondering.... no more
Now I wonder why I just don't do the things I want to do
Why wait for someone to step up, if they were going to, they would have
Maybe I just haven't met you yet, maybe I have, but why wonder
Why wait for a person to say I do, when I can enjoy it, see it, feel it now
Why wonder, why wait?
The venture begins...... ready, set, GO!
Now I wonder why I just don't do the things I want to do
Why wait for someone to step up, if they were going to, they would have
Maybe I just haven't met you yet, maybe I have, but why wonder
Why wait for a person to say I do, when I can enjoy it, see it, feel it now
Why wonder, why wait?
The venture begins...... ready, set, GO!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Silence
The silence is almost eerie
The silence can be peace
The silence can be momentary calm
Before the storm
The silence can be electric
The silence really isn't that silent at all
Listen, listen in the quiet, you'll hear
Hear what the silence has to bring
The silence can be peace
The silence can be momentary calm
Before the storm
The silence can be electric
The silence really isn't that silent at all
Listen, listen in the quiet, you'll hear
Hear what the silence has to bring
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Middle of it all
A silent night broken by gunfire
Brief interruption to the once serene
Freeze frame, don't move
As quickly as interrupted
Quiet overtakes again.... a still silence
A day rocked by police presence
Going for a ride to the P.D.
Wasn't their first choice
But a choice filled with consequences
Slowly driven away, what fate now
In the middle of the wheels
The deals
The side streets
Alleys ways and more
Something in the middle makes wave
Laughter, Love, Family, Friends
A single leaf caught in the Spin Cycle
Being tossed every now and then
The middle momentarily
Breaks through the poison
Fills the streets
The walkways
The alleyways and more
A glimmer of hope
Somehow shines in the middle of it all
Brief interruption to the once serene
Freeze frame, don't move
As quickly as interrupted
Quiet overtakes again.... a still silence
A day rocked by police presence
Going for a ride to the P.D.
Wasn't their first choice
But a choice filled with consequences
Slowly driven away, what fate now
In the middle of the wheels
The deals
The side streets
Alleys ways and more
Something in the middle makes wave
Laughter, Love, Family, Friends
A single leaf caught in the Spin Cycle
Being tossed every now and then
The middle momentarily
Breaks through the poison
Fills the streets
The walkways
The alleyways and more
A glimmer of hope
Somehow shines in the middle of it all
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Untitled
Sitting
Listening to the click/clack of the keyboard
Wall A/C next to me
Messing up my hair
Keeping me cool
Silent thoughts
Alone
Contemplating
Seeking Gods guidance
Hard to hear
Point out my direction
Move my feet
.....
Little house
Huge and empty
Is this it
A destiny
Capture the quiet
Let it bring peace
You will hear
Listening to the click/clack of the keyboard
Wall A/C next to me
Messing up my hair
Keeping me cool
Silent thoughts
Alone
Contemplating
Seeking Gods guidance
Hard to hear
Point out my direction
Move my feet
.....
Little house
Huge and empty
Is this it
A destiny
Capture the quiet
Let it bring peace
You will hear
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes it feels as if I am standing still.
No forward progress, what am I afraid of
Why am I still here, in this space in time
Sometimes it feels as if I am all alone.
Surrounded by family and friends.
Sometimes I want to just cry.
For no reason, but to cry, for longings I have
Though they never seem to be
Sometimes I want to laugh
At the craziness of it all
Life, one can muse it really can
be a circus at times
Sometimes I want to fly
Soar, higher and higher,
Fly in the wind, feel the wind carry me
Sometimes I want to be held,
To not feel alone, to not close my eyes
at night and wonder how it feels to
be 80 and alone, alone in the dark of ones house
Sometimes I want to hear someone
say "I love you, with all my heart"
"You are the world to me" "I want to
spend my life with you" and mean it,
then to do it
Sometimes I want nothing more than
silence, quiet time away, peace, calm, softness
Sometimes I want to be wild
Let it all go, have fun, let my ambitions fly
And sometimes I just wonder, why I
sometimes want...
Cuz the fact of the matter is I am
where the good Lord wants me to be....
and he hears and knows my "sometimes want"
No forward progress, what am I afraid of
Why am I still here, in this space in time
Sometimes it feels as if I am all alone.
Surrounded by family and friends.
Sometimes I want to just cry.
For no reason, but to cry, for longings I have
Though they never seem to be
Sometimes I want to laugh
At the craziness of it all
Life, one can muse it really can
be a circus at times
Sometimes I want to fly
Soar, higher and higher,
Fly in the wind, feel the wind carry me
Sometimes I want to be held,
To not feel alone, to not close my eyes
at night and wonder how it feels to
be 80 and alone, alone in the dark of ones house
Sometimes I want to hear someone
say "I love you, with all my heart"
"You are the world to me" "I want to
spend my life with you" and mean it,
then to do it
Sometimes I want nothing more than
silence, quiet time away, peace, calm, softness
Sometimes I want to be wild
Let it all go, have fun, let my ambitions fly
And sometimes I just wonder, why I
sometimes want...
Cuz the fact of the matter is I am
where the good Lord wants me to be....
and he hears and knows my "sometimes want"
Friday, June 25, 2010
Abrasive flow
Snap of static electricity
Filling the streets
Energy abuzz, movement, unrest
Red ants marching to an unheard tune
scattering forces, unforeseen doom
Tires screeching, licks pavement, abrasive flow
Leave my mark, that's how it goes
Silent peace sits near, not for
Begging mercy, sobs at the scars
Turn it off, and one can see,
such movement doesn't really
have to be
====================================
It's been a long time since I've blogged, but this one just came to me. I suppose it is in light of many headlines that are in our local area news, however, when I first began feeling/writing it, it was more toward my part of the hood. I find it interesting how things come to me, I am beginning to not question them and just go with the flow. I really need to write more.
Filling the streets
Energy abuzz, movement, unrest
Red ants marching to an unheard tune
scattering forces, unforeseen doom
Tires screeching, licks pavement, abrasive flow
Leave my mark, that's how it goes
Silent peace sits near, not for
Begging mercy, sobs at the scars
Turn it off, and one can see,
such movement doesn't really
have to be
====================================
It's been a long time since I've blogged, but this one just came to me. I suppose it is in light of many headlines that are in our local area news, however, when I first began feeling/writing it, it was more toward my part of the hood. I find it interesting how things come to me, I am beginning to not question them and just go with the flow. I really need to write more.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Da Hood
Da hood is the place that I call home
Da hood is the place where one can feel so alone
Da hood is the place where you see things that are sad
things that are scary and others down right bad
Da hood can creep up on you and take you by surprise
Da hood has no respect, better watch out or it might be
your demise
Ya try to blend in with the crazy ole ways,
perhaps ya wont' be noticed and they'll merry on their way
Da hood takes what it wants, if you got what it needs
Da hood hurts anyone, self respect.... oh pleeeease
Try do what's right, while keeping your kin safe,
An education of the other side, da hood has lessons you
can take
Learn to keep your eyes open
Learn when to uproar, learn when to be silent
and sadly to ignore....
And most of all you learn what's wrong,
A sad state of affairs.... cuz doing something right
.... Da hood seems lost forever more....
Da hood is the place where one can feel so alone
Da hood is the place where you see things that are sad
things that are scary and others down right bad
Da hood can creep up on you and take you by surprise
Da hood has no respect, better watch out or it might be
your demise
Ya try to blend in with the crazy ole ways,
perhaps ya wont' be noticed and they'll merry on their way
Da hood takes what it wants, if you got what it needs
Da hood hurts anyone, self respect.... oh pleeeease
Try do what's right, while keeping your kin safe,
An education of the other side, da hood has lessons you
can take
Learn to keep your eyes open
Learn when to uproar, learn when to be silent
and sadly to ignore....
And most of all you learn what's wrong,
A sad state of affairs.... cuz doing something right
.... Da hood seems lost forever more....
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Through my soul this day
Sitting alone with my thoughts
Thoughts of Mom
Tears flow freely
Forming Sobs.... I miss you
I am overtaken by a strong scent of Lilies
Can it be? I close my eyes and grasp my hands tightly
The scent is overpowering around me, it envelops me
Is that you? I wish I could see, I wish I could hold
Through tears of sorrow turned to joy I know
you came through my heart and soul this morning
with the Glory of God this beautiful Easter Morn.
For He has risen and you are by his side in Heaven
One day we will meet again. I Love you.
Thoughts of Mom
Tears flow freely
Forming Sobs.... I miss you
I am overtaken by a strong scent of Lilies
Can it be? I close my eyes and grasp my hands tightly
The scent is overpowering around me, it envelops me
Is that you? I wish I could see, I wish I could hold
Through tears of sorrow turned to joy I know
you came through my heart and soul this morning
with the Glory of God this beautiful Easter Morn.
For He has risen and you are by his side in Heaven
One day we will meet again. I Love you.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Hold on
It's amazing how we, as humans, feel the need to "hold on" to everything.
I write this as a general statement, not an all encompassing one.
In the past I have held on to many things that weren't necessary.... some material things, some not. Just in case you know.... just in case.
Does holding on to things hold us back?
Does holding on to things keep us from moving forward?
Does holding on to things make us better?
Does holding on to things keep us from growing?
Does holding on to things keep us from the paths that call to us?
Many questions whirl through my mind. Perhaps the best question to ask one self .... "Is holding on necessary?" "what's the benefit" "and for whom"?
Perhaps the better question to ask oneself is "are you ready to let go? Are you ready to let go and allow yourself to fly"
I write this as a general statement, not an all encompassing one.
In the past I have held on to many things that weren't necessary.... some material things, some not. Just in case you know.... just in case.
Does holding on to things hold us back?
Does holding on to things keep us from moving forward?
Does holding on to things make us better?
Does holding on to things keep us from growing?
Does holding on to things keep us from the paths that call to us?
Many questions whirl through my mind. Perhaps the best question to ask one self .... "Is holding on necessary?" "what's the benefit" "and for whom"?
Perhaps the better question to ask oneself is "are you ready to let go? Are you ready to let go and allow yourself to fly"
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