Today is Saturday, May 2nd. First Saturday of a new month. With this Saturday comes a rainy day. The heavens rain down upon us as the earth gladly soaks it in, quenched by the rain. The rain helps a little with the impending drought we face. The rain reminds me of the promises of God, the promise that all will be well for those that have Faith and believe. We can do all things through Him.
The rain, however, dampens my spirit a little this day. I'd be lieing if I said I was real happy go lucky today... a downright lie that would be. A fog of depression looms around me this day. The rain feels like tears. Tears of sadness, loneliness, anguish... even pain. I think of Mom. I imagine, envision her smile. Hear her laughter, feel her touch, smell her, sense her... but I can't see her anymore. I miss her terribly.
The rain drenches my skin as I stand at her cemetery plot. Her headstone not in place, but soon. Flowers, cards, little gifts and a softball adorn her place. Sentiments of love, those who miss and those who love her. The rain clings to my body as I stare down. Disbelief, hoping she'll appear. She does not. The rain soaks me, but I do not care. As I walk away I feel numb all over again. I know it won't last, not forever. I cry, and that's okay. I know I'll be okay.
This afternoon I'll rest, for tonight I'll listen to the music of the Mariachi Divas and think of Mom. Laughing, Dancing, Free... at peace. For tonight I'll celebrate her going safely home to our Lord, and carry her with me always.
For now, I'll rest, sleep, and perhaps meet her in my dreams. I miss you Mom. I love you.
